When the Garden Feels Too Full

There are weeks when I come Through the Garden Gate excited to tell you about something new growing here.

A new tea. A new idea. Something simmering on the stove or tucked into a jar. Another little piece of Of Herb & Stone beginning to take shape.

This isn't one of those weeks.

This week, the garden feels too full.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of getting Charlotte settled into her new school. I thought we were moving in the right direction. We had gotten through the applications, the computer setup, the programs, the logins and all of those little things that come with beginning something completely new.

And then yesterday, all of her classes appeared.

Suddenly there were assignments, schedules, expectations and instructions everywhere we looked.

And both of us were completely overwhelmed.

She had a horrible night.

And as her Yaya, I found myself questioning everything again.

Did I make the right decision?

Can I actually help her do this?

How am I going to keep up with everything she needs while keeping up with everything else that needs me?

Meanwhile, September keeps getting closer.

Raven & Roses keeps getting closer.

And although I know how much I've already made and prepared, my mind doesn't seem particularly interested in remembering any of that right now.

Instead, it keeps whispering:

You aren't ready.

There is still too much to do.

You're running out of time.

And somewhere between school schedules, work, family, festival preparations, herbs, tea sachets, jars, labels and everything else that makes up my days lately, I realized something.

I'm overwhelmed.

Not the cute kind where you laugh and say, "I've got a lot going on."

The kind where you look around at things you genuinely love and can't figure out which one you're supposed to pick up first.

The kind where even something you've been excited about begins to feel heavy.

I've spent so much time talking about growing this little business.

Planting seeds.

Following paths.

Preparing for harvest.

Making room for what's growing.

But gardens don't grow neatly.

Sometimes everything grows at once.

The vines wander where you didn't expect them to. Something needs more attention than you planned. Weeds show up overnight. One plant struggles while another takes over an entire corner.

And sometimes you stand in the middle of all of it and think,

I don't even know where to start.

Maybe that's where I am this week.

Standing in the middle of a very full garden.

Of Herb & Stone is growing.

The festival is coming.

Charlotte is beginning an entirely new chapter.

There are things happening in my family, responsibilities at work, and a home that still needs tending when everything else is finished.

None of those things are unimportant.

But I am only one person.

So tonight, I'm not going to tell myself that I should be doing more.

I'm going to look at what has already been planted.

The shelves filling with things I've made with my own hands.

The jars lined up and waiting.

The teas already blended and packaged.

A festival booth that started as an idea in my head and is slowly becoming real.

And a girl sitting beside me who is trying to navigate something completely new — and who doesn't have to figure it all out on her first week.

Neither do I.

Maybe tending the garden isn't always about planting another seed.

Maybe sometimes it's simply walking through it, noticing what needs you most today, and trusting that the rest will still be there tomorrow.

So that's what I'm trying to do.

One assignment.

One sachet.

One jar.

One day.

And when the garden feels too full to see the path through it, maybe the answer isn't to work faster.

Maybe it's to tend what's directly in front of you.

The rest of the garden can wait.

Until next time, I'll meet you Through the Garden Gate.

~Mary